Blond Jokes

 

Q: How do blonde braincells die ?

A: Alone


Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?

A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.


Q: How do you change a blonde's mind

A1: Blow in her ear.

A2: Buy her another beer.


Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?

A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!


Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?

A: Tell her she's pregnant.


Q: What will she ask you?

A: "Is it mine?"


Q: How does a blonde kill a fish

A: She drowns it.


Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.


Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper


Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.


Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

A: Trying to hold on to a thought.


Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?

A: Because it said 'concentrate'.


Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

A: Wave to her.


Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don't. They're born that way.


Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?

A1: They can't remember the number.

A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.


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